Barriers for a “Perfect” Set-Up

Written By: April Hinkle

You know the saying, “I have a million friends until it’s moving day”? Well, we’re one of those friends that shows up on moving day, too! But even though you can count on us, there is so much that can fall through, so many barriers that can present themselves in the hours before you get those keys. This weekend’s move was no exception to that because so much went wrong leading up to it. So much went right, too, but I think it’s important for us to be transparent about the roadblocks we encounter as Just Human grows. 

We had about a month to prepare for this weekend which, in this world, is more than enough time. That being said, it was also the largest set up we have been called for to date; three bedrooms for two single moms. As soon as we posted a call for help, the donations came flooding in. I have been unwrapping Amazon packages literally every day of this month and all of it was for this family. We got everything from linens and pillows to a coffee maker and dish set. We even received plants and candles. Everything was feeling like a success when one prospective donor asked “what do you need for this move?” and we were able to answer that we had everything we needed. 

We had volunteers lined up and vehicles ready. Caitlin and I even pre-packed one of her vehicles to hand off to a volunteer coming from Queens so that we could meet midway in the Bronx. The storage unit was as organized as it has ever been so we knew that we could load up the cars in about 30 minutes without any issues. We were feeling on top of the world, like we really had it together! Unfortunately, the day took a turn for the worst. 

One of the moms who was moving into the apartment had a really awful week leading up to moving day. She was receiving threats of violence from her ex-partner and, when she reported this to the domestic violence shelter, she was discharged due to concerns of a security breach. She was moved to a family shelter, where she was losing sleep to keep roaches off of her sleeping baby. Sickening stories were shared about the negligence and abuse happening in this shelter that are all too common but also far too gruesome to share on a blog. Caitlin and I were hanging on, anxious to get to Saturday when things would be better and we would know this mom had a warm, safe place to sleep with her child. Unfortunately, a donor that was contributing a large, used furniture item ended up giving or selling their donation elsewhere the day. This was a minor hiccup in comparison to everything else but really threw a wrench in the plan, because I was already at a heightened state of urgency to get this mom into a safe home. To be honest, Caitlin and I organized the storage unit as a way to bring some order to this whole mess. The brainstorm seshion and glass of wine (plus pesto gnocchi al la my fiance) were the only thing getting me through this week. 

Finally, w made it to Friday! Volunteers were on standby. Pizza was ordered for the moving crew. Caitlin was taking breakfast sandwich orders. A local florist was dropping off plants to liven up the home. The operation was running smoothly until one of our volunteers’ cars got a flat tire and then another text came in. The apartment hadn’t passed DHS inspection and so our mama couldn't get keys to her apartment until next week. She had already confirmed with her landlord about the planned move-in but the stove still had not been installed, so he changed his mind and pulled the plug just hours before midnight. I had to break the news to Caitlin while she was out at dinner with her family. At this point, we were stunned and so sad for these moms who deserved so much more than another disappointment. They deserve a home that feels safe, free of roaches and violence and overall bureaucratic barriers. They deserve a stove and that coffee maker and all of the plants they want. They deserve to finally soak in their own bathtub with candles and essential oils and wash a difficult day away but we know that this week is just one story in a whole book about how our systems fail families in need. 

This is a reminder of why we are here, why we call on all of you to make this possible, and why we have to continuously stay on our feet, ready for whatever hurdles lie ahead because this is rarely a smooth process. We are so incredibly grateful for all of you who message us wishing us luck the day before, for those of you dropping donations off at the last minute, and for those of you who switch your schedule at the drop of a hat just to make what feels like the impossible, possible.